I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship, so I Became a Space Mercenary

TN: This is a short story originally published on Kakuyomu as part of an annual short story compilation organized by Kadokawa to celebrate their anniversary. I’ll resume translating the main story once the author returns from working on the new volume of the light novel. In the meantime, I’ll be translating these mostly unknown short stories. Here is the third one.

「Elma-san, don’t you think this is nice?」

「Huh? I don’t think it would suit me very well. I mean, it might be fine for you, Mimi, but for me, uh… the design is a bit too cute, don’t you think?」

「Elma-neesan, you’re gorgeous and got a great figure, so girly stuff like this’d look great on ya.」

「You should try wearing something like that too, Sis.」

「This wouldn’t suit me. It might work for you, Wee, but for me… nah.」

「You’re twins, so if it suits Wiska, it should suit you too, right?」

The old saying ‘When three women get together, the chatter never ends’ can’t be truer. And when there are four of them, it becomes endless and downright chaotic. The girls were browsing an apparel shop in the colony through the holo-display, debating excitedly over what was good, what suited who, and everything in between.

I called out to Mei, who was quietly standing by near me as I relaxed on the sofa by the terrarium in the corner of the lounge. She gave a small shake of her head.

「No, I am a maidroid, after all.」

「…You know, I think you’d look good in something other than a maid uniform every now and then.」n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

「The maid uniform is my identity. However, if it’s your command, Master, I will serve you in any attire you desire.」

「Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s not like I insist on you wearing something other than a maid uniform, so you don’t have to take it so seriously…」

Why is it that even with her flat voice and expression, I can sense her tragic, and desperate resolve? Honestly, out of all the crew members, Mei might be the most enigmatic.

Having wrapped up our business in the Comatt Star System, we were en route to the Refill Star System—the elves’ homeworld. For now, though, we had stopped at a trading colony in a star system along the way. This particular colony was known for its expertise in apparel technology, offering everything from high-tech fabrics made with the latest innovations to traditional textiles. Its trade was centered around a wide variety of apparel products.

The influx of unique materials also attracted many fashion designers to the colony. As a result, numerous clothing stores of all sizes competed fiercely for attention.

「Smaller stores use holo-displays for space-saving, low-cost product showcases, where they take the orders, to later pass them to shared factories that handle the manufacturing and shipping. Meanwhile, medium-to-large stores also display physical items, attracting customers who want to buy them on the spot… That’s a smart setup.」

As I browsed information about the colony on a small terminal, it seemed that Elma and Tina had wrapped up their discussion and were now heading my way. Ｒ

「A setup like that doesn’t encourage long-term business.」

「It’s lively, but I bet lots of shops that don’t keep up end up closin’ pretty quick.」

Elma sat down beside me, while Tina—without warning—hugged me from the front, looking up at my face.

Tina, that’s a bit risky, isn’t it? Even if I wasn’t sitting with my legs properly together, sliding yourself between them like that is… well, questionable.

「…Tina, isn’t that kind of unfair?」

「Fufun, the little gal wins! Bein’ small’s got its own perks—nyunyaah!」

Tina, who was smugly nestled between my legs, had her cheeks pinched and squished by both my hands. Ah, squishy cheeks. They’re so soft it makes me want to keep touching them. But seriously, this is a dangerous spot, so please vacate it immediately. The soft sensation of Tina’s, small but not lacking chest, is pressing against a very sensitive area of mine.

「Gah! Tina-chan’s oblivious yet deadly seduction strategy…!」

「That’s way too direct of an attack to call it oblivious…」

I slipped my hands under Tina’s arms and lifted her up, placing her on the opposite side of me, away from Elma. It probably looked like I picked her up effortlessly, but she’s quite—ouch, ouch!—this little dwarf is heavier than she looks. And now she’s punching my shoulder with that dwarven strength of hers! Stop that, or my shoulder will dislocate—or shatter.

「So, did you manage to find some nice clothes?」

「They’re not really my taste, but, well, yeah.」

「Same here, Neesan.」

Apparently, Mimi and Wiska had managed to convince them to try on some girly outfits. Given how their usual casual and loungewear styles are either sleek or borderline lazy, seeing the two of them in cute, girly outfits would definitely be something.

「Ain’t ya gonna buy some clothes, Boss?」

「I’m fine with what I’ve got. Besides, I already have plenty of spares.」

I’ve already got a decent collection of undergarments and inner shirts, along with some nice clothes gifted by Elma and Mimi, or ones I’ve bought when needed. Honestly, I don’t feel much of a need to buy anything new from this colony.

「Besides, unlike you beautiful ladies, I’ve just got a regular, slightly intimidating mob face. If I were as good-looking as Elma’s brother, it might be a different story, but dressing up doesn’t really do much for me.」

If I wore fancy clothes, they’d end up wearing me instead.

「Is that so? I don’t think you need to be so self-deprecating.」

「I agree, though I gotta admit, the mercenary style suits you best, Boss.」

While saying all that, Elma was tilting her head as she stroked my cheek with her hand, and Tina was clinging tightly to my arm. The level of physical contact is intense. Ladies, can you maybe not cling so much in broad daylight? I’ll end up getting in the mood.

「Hey! That’s not fair, you two!」

「This… this is improper behavior so early in the day!」

Noticing the situation, Mimi and Wiska rushed over. When this happens, Elma often steps back and gives her place to Mimi, and sure enough, Mimi slid into the space Elma vacated, her softness now pressed against my left arm. My left arm is currently in paradise, but my right arm is about to get obliterated by dwarf power.

Wiska, attempting to pull Tina off me, was tugging at her with all her strength. Meanwhile, Tina clung to my arm as if her life depended on it. My arm—it’s going to snap. And then fall off.

「You know, the group’s really grown, hasn’t it?」

「Ouch, ouch! What do you mean!?」

「The crew, of course. It started with just Mimi, then I joined shortly after. Then you bought Mei, followed by Tina and Wiska. The crew’s been growing steadily.」

「At this rate, we’ll easily have over ten people in a year!」

「Ten people? That’s one heck of a harem, Boss.」

「Why are you assuming they’d all be women?」

「Given the current male-to-female ratio, it’s a reasonable assumption.」

Wiska, making such a matter-of-fact comment puts me in a tough spot. Honestly, with the current crew being almost entirely women, introducing another male crew member could potentially lead to all kinds of trouble. So realistically, I doubt I’d add any guys to the crew.

「I wonder what kind of girl will join next.」

「It’s hard to say, but I’m the operator, Elma-san is an experienced co-pilot, Mei-san is a highly advanced maidroid that controls the Black Lotus and the security, and Tina-chan and Wiska-chan are brilliant mechanics. I am the exception, but Elma-san, Mei-san, Tina-chan, and Wiska-chan were all invited onto the ship because Hiro-sama saw their exceptional skills. So wouldn’t it make sense for the next crew member to also bring a specialized skillset?」

That’s true. Anyone joining the crew would need to have a role to fulfill. Even if they started like Mimi, learning the ropes as they go, they’d still need to have some kind of potential or talent.

「Thinking along those lines… maybe a ship doctor?」

Now that’s an idea. Right now, the crew’s health management relies almost entirely on the medical pod we have on the Lotus. Having someone aboard with proper medical qualifications and experience as a ship doctor would be a huge plus. I’d definitely welcome that.

Well, doctors tend to have stable incomes and high social standing, so it’s unlikely that someone would give all that up to join the dangerous life of a mercenary. It’d take a very unique individual to make that choice.

「How about a marine specializing in close-quarters combat?」

That’s certainly a possibility. Right now, the only ones capable of handling close-quarters combat are me and Mei. Elma can probably manage if needed, but it could be dangerous. While we do have a formidable asset in the form of military-grade combat bots, the only one on the crew capable of commanding them effectively in the field is Mei. Adding another expert in close-quarters combat would definitely enhance our overall strength and bolster the crew’s safety.

「There’s still one hangar slot open on the Black Lotus, so maybe a new pilot or co-pilot could work.」

That’s a solid idea, too. If we buy another combat ship, Elma could pilot it. It would enable us to form a two-attacker team—Elma and me—while the Black Lotus provides rear support. Such a formation would significantly reduce the chances of enemy pirates escaping. Having more firepower would also make it easier to respond to unexpected situations.

And if Elma moved to the new ship, we could bring on a new co-pilot for Krishna. Expanding our mercenary group’s tactical capabilities and crew would be a welcome boost.

「So, what d’ya think, Boss?」

「I think all the suggestions you’ve come up with are great, but it all depends on whether we actually meet someone like that. For all we know, the next crew member might join for reasons completely unrelated to what we’ve imagined.」

As I said that, Mei, who had been silent up until now, murmured softly.

「…Master is a kind person. If there were a woman in distress, and helping her required Master to intervene personally, wouldn’t that be the most likely reason for the crew to grow?」

「「「「A

All four of them nodded in unison, as if in complete agreement. Can we not do this, guys? Sure, I can’t exactly deny what Mei said, but still.

「But you wouldn’t help a guy in distress, right?」

「I’m not a saint or some humanitarian, you know. My stance is: guys can deal with their own problems.」

Frankly, I find those people who claim they’ll help anyone in trouble, no matter who they are, incredibly suspicious. As for me? I only help girls. Why? Because it feels way better to be thanked by a cute girl than by some scruffy dude. Simple as that.

「Even so, I bet you’d end up helping if someone was truly desperate.」

「That’s right. Hiro-sama is very kind.」

「No, I wouldn’t. Definitely not. No way, no how.」

I declared, doubling down with all the conviction I could muster. But my earnest protest was met with a round of dismissive ‘Sure, sure, we believe you’ from everyone.

This injustice will not be forgotten.