Reincarnated as the Villainess’s Unlucky Bodyguard

I hate it when the day starts with the unexpected, especially when it involves public humiliation courtesy of my familiar. It's not that I don't appreciate having someone around who cares about me well, something in this case it's just that when your "someone" is a talking pineapple with delusions of grandeur, life becomes an endless carnival of embarrassment.

Take this morning, for example.

The Academy loomed before us, an imposing edifice of stone and magic, with spires that seemed designed to stab the sky itself. Students filtered through its grand gates in clusters, most too preoccupied to notice me. That was, until Ananara decided to announce himself.

"Ah, behold! The grand repository of mediocrity," he declared, his sharp, slightly nasal voice cutting through the crisp morning air. "Do you smell it, Liria? The stench of potential unrealized?"

"Do you smell the fertilizer?" Enara muttered beside me, her midnight eyes glinting with amusement.

I groaned. "Can you please not antagonize him? He's bad enough without the encouragement."

"Encouragement? I'm just being honest."

Ananara puffed up indignantly, his crown of spiky leaves quivering. "I will have you know, young demon, that I am a gift to this wretched world a beacon of wisdom in the sea of idiocy!"

"You're a fruit," Enara said flatly, brushing an invisible speck of dust off her sleeve.

"I'm a familiar," he snapped, "and the most intelligent being in this entourage."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried not to think about how long it would take for someone to accidentally step on him.

[Liria, good news!]

The system's voice piped up in my mind, its tone bright and cheerful in that annoying way that always spelled trouble. Oh, great. What now?

[A new mission is available: Learn two new types of magic. Reward: Two new skills and +2 Magic. Doesn't that sound fun?]

Fun isn't exactly the word I'd use, I thought, shuffling into the building with Enara at my side and Ananara rolling arrogantly ahead.

[Well, it's either this or deal with another 'mystery challenge.' And you really don't want to know what that is today.]

We stepped into the classroom, a vast amphitheater with desks arranged in a semi-circle around a raised platform. The air hummed with latent energy, the kind that made your skin tingle and your hair stand on end.

At the center of the platform stood Kaelith, the Academy's infamous professor of elemental magic. He was tall and gaunt, with deep indigo skin that shimmered faintly in the light. His hair moved like tendrils of shadow, a living, writhing crown that seemed to have a mind of its own. But it was his eyes that made you stop and reconsider your life choices molten gold, sharp as a dagger and just as unforgiving.

His gaze swept across the room and stopped on Ananara, who was perched obnoxiously on my desk.

"Why," Kaelith said slowly, his deep voice rumbling like distant thunder, "is there a pineapple in my classroom?"

"He's her familiar," Enara said before I could stammer out an excuse, her tone dripping with barely concealed amusement.

Kaelith's golden eyes narrowed. "A pineapple."

"A talking pineapple," Ananara corrected, as if that made him less ridiculous. "And I'll have you know—"

"Silence," Kaelith snapped, his voice cutting through the room like a whip.

Ananara huffed but mercifully shut up.

"Today, we focus on water magic," Kaelith announced, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Water is the element of adaptability and precision. It is not brute force but finesse. Control is everything."

He raised a hand, and a shimmering sphere of water appeared, perfectly suspended in the air. With a flick of his fingers, the sphere twisted and spiraled, forming intricate patterns that seemed almost alive.

"Your turn," he said, stepping back.

The room exploded into chaos as students attempted to replicate the display. Some managed pathetic dribbles; others ended up soaking themselves and their neighbors.

I stared at my hands, already missing the comforting, fiery intensity of my usual magic. Water felt... slippery. Elusive. Like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands.

Beside me, Enara smirked as a perfect stream of water coiled above her palm. "Having trouble?"

"Don't you have a lake to terrorize?" I shot back, earning a sharp laugh.

I closed my eyes, reaching for the magic that buzzed just under my skin. Slowly, carefully, I coaxed a small sphere of water into existence. It wobbled precariously, threatening to splatter everywhere, but it held.

"Not bad," Kaelith said, his golden gaze briefly resting on me. "Now, control it."

Easier said than done.

The sphere trembled, then launched sideways, smacking straight into Ananara.

"You insufferable oaf!" the pineapple screeched, water dripping from his leaves. "Do you know how long it takes me to dry out? This is an outrage!"

I bit back a laugh. "Consider it a free rinse."

Ananara bristled. "Consider yourself cursed."

By the time the lesson ended, I was exhausted but surprisingly proud of myself. I'd managed to stabilize the water and even create a flowing ribbon that snaked through the air.

[Mission progress: New Skill Acquired Water Ribbon (Level 1). Magic +1.]

"Don't get cocky," Enara said, effortlessly shaping her water into a glowing spiral. "You're still leagues behind me."n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

"Careful, Princess," I said, smirking. "Your ego's showing."

Before she could retort, Kaelith clapped his hands, silencing the room. "Your next task will test your ability to create movement. Water that flows, bends, and adapts. We continue tomorrow."

As we filed out, Ananara rolled beside me, muttering about "amateur mages" and "wasted potential."

"You're lucky you're cute," I said.

"Cute?" he sputtered. "I am majestic!"

"Sure," I said, rolling my eyes. "Majestic. And annoying."

[One down, one to go,"] the system chimed in cheerfully. [You're doing great, Liria. Almost as great as me.]

I sighed.

As we walked through the Academy halls, Ananara perched on my shoulder like some bizarre, fruit-based parrot, his leaves still dripping from earlier. "You could at least show some gratitude for my moral support," he grumbled.

"Moral support? You called me 'magically deficient' five minutes ago," I shot back.

"You are magically deficient. That's why you need me."

Enara snorted beside us. "It's impressive, really how someone as small as him manages to have such a big ego."

Ananara puffed up. "I am a creature of unparalleled brilliance, thank you very much."

"Unparalleled annoyance," I muttered, earning a sharp glare from both.